Having watched a friend play through some of Castlevania: Lament of Innocence, I got a hankering for slash fic.

A semi-long and crimson tongue appeared and traced Leon’s jawbone

It took me a good minute and a half to realize that was Walter's tongue you were talking about. I thought there was some random monster appearing out of nowhere to join in molesting Leon. Not that I have any problems with that beyond the usual "WARN, DAMMIT!"

Okay, this is probably gonna be YMMV and I'll probably get people saying, "I have no problem with this," but I hope I'm not alone. I get really annoyed when somebody posts a fic that's s'posed to be part of the author's larger "'verse" and doesn't link to any of the other fics that might give readers the context of what's going on.  For some reason, this seems to happen a lot in crossover comms.  Guess what, authors?  We're not Professor X or Matt Parkman or any other telepath, so you gotta give us an overview or link us to past fics!  Do a master post!  I've seen lots of other people do it, but there are also a bunch of people who don't, and when they don't, I think it looks like they don't want to draw new readers, but keep it as an inside joke with their five regular readers. 

( Some Supernatural examples. What IS it with that fandom? )

Edited because everything somehow ended up in a Giant Paragraph of Doom.

Title: I resemble that remark [Day 06]
Author: Britts
C&C?: Absolutely
Rating: PG/PG-13
Pairing: N/A
Summary: Cha takes offense

( I resemble that remark )


Title: Confusion and Soulmates [Day 07]
Author: Britts
C&C?: Absolutely
Rating: PG
Pairing: N/A
Summary: Cha reflects on his friends’ relationship
Notes: From Cha’s POV; also, holy crap! A straight band!

( Confusion and Soulmates )


Title: The Sissy Band [Day 08]
Author: Britts
C&C?: Absolutely
Rating: PG/PG-13
Pairing: N/A
Summary: Cha reflects on the clean record of JOB

( The Sissy Band )


Title: Goofy Meter reprise [Day 09]
Author: Britts
C&C?: Absolutely
Rating: PG
Pairing: N/A
Summary: The band’s response to the school boy uniforms
Notes: References this earlier snippet

( Goofy Meter reprise )


Title: Roofie-tinis [Day 10]
Author: Britts
C&C?: Absolutely
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: mention of Cha/You
Summary: The band tricks You
Notes: Inspired by a conversation with my roommate

( Roofie-tinis )


Title: Tired [Day 11]
Author: Britts
C&C?: Absolutely
Rating: PG
Pairing: Gackt/Cha
Summary: Gackt comes home and feels something's off
Notes: Just a little GakuCha dialogue

( Tired )

Dear FS/N author,

I see that you were trying to improve my reading experience. Awesome, and thank you for the consideration. However, something makes me think that you haven't really thought this gimmick through.

You see, you decided to give your fanfic a soundtrack.

...Yes, I know that sounds fine on paper, if a little pretentious, but allow me to illustrate how this works in execution.

( Slightly long post be slightly long, folks )

The moral of the story? Fanfics should not have soundtracks

So. Writerface. Your fic wasn't bad -- in fact, the way you fleshed out the rather sparse canon setting was very creative and your prose, while having many, many grammatical errors, was fairly decent. I'll give you that. This is why I offered to be your beta, so your fic could reach its potential.

You posted as an A/N for your fic, "don't have a beta, if you are interested, drop me a line." (I paraphrase.)

I leave a review, offering my services as beta.

Your response (as the next chapter's A/N), dear Writerface? "Don't leave it in a review - e-mail me instead."

...Uh. Okay. Kinda rude, but partially my fault as well for misinterpreting what you meant by "dropping a line". So I send a polite e-mail, again offering my services as beta (strictly in regards to spelling and punctuation, which I explained - I didn't feel the author needed my assistance in any other area).

The answer: "Thanks but no thanks. Someone else more familiar with the fandom volunteered."

Again, uh... okay. Maybe it's true, that the other person who volunteered is more familiar with the canon Writerface was working with (even though it didn't seem like Writerface could tell how much I knew the canon, but whatever). I offered, Writerface didn't accept. Not the end of the world, really. I still continue to read Writerface's fic, though, because I liked it well enough before all this happened and just because Writerface was a tad blunt shouldn't influence my opinion of his work.

Then the next chapter, posted about a day later, features a line in the A/N: "Sorry about the poor spelling and grammar, but I don't have a beta. *shrug*".

Suddenly, I don't feel like helping you anymore, Writerface.

(Could be I'm being too sensitive, but... really. If you didn't want a beta, why did you ask for one? And then proceed to go about it so poorly? I just don't get it.)

Edited because punctuating was not the word I was looking for. XD

stepstomarrow
When granddaughter, Jada, was born with leukemia, a donor-match was located and Jada made a miraculous recovery. In honor of her grandaughter's health, Jeanna has decided to walk across the country (in the dead of winter) to raise awareness and build support for the bone marrow registry (all that's required is a cheek swab). Follow Jeanna's remarkable journey as she travels the United States by foot.

Greetings, meatbags certain parts of the Knights of the Old Republic fandom!

I noticed you like to make your Player Characters light-sided. That's great, so do I! I also noticed that you like to make your light-sided PCs the biggest Mary Sues ever conceived. That's not so great.

Now, granted, it's not as if this doesn't have canonical support. Playing the game and choosing all the good options will turn your character into the biggest Mary Sue ever conceived. The kind you'd expect grow a halo and be announced by a spontaneously generated chorus of angels. The kind that would be able to circumnavigate Manaan on foot.

But just because I play as one doesn't mean I want to read about one.

There's a reason Inferno is more popular than Paradiso, and that's because unambiguously good characters are boring. I like a good light-sided PC, but it's more interesting to see someone struggle a little for it. And not just, "Oh, I nearly went into a righteous rage at the slavers on Kashyyyk! Woe is me!" I mean actual, honest-to-god flaws that aren't "cares too much about people". (Not that this couldn't potentially be an interesting flaw and a good reason to fall to the Dark Side if explored well, but most of the time it's just shorthand for, "Look at how compassionate my character is! Isn't he/she awesome?")

Also, you now what I'd really like to see?

( Oh hi there, huge spoiler for the first game! You know the one. )

Of course, no one is obligated to write what I want. (Otherwise the world would contain more T3-M4/HK-47*.) I realize that people are allowed to see their PC as they like — that's kind of the point of having customizable PCs. But I think it would make a much more compelling character than Mr/Ms Perfect, wouldn't it? The games do encourage you to either become the second coming of Christ or grow a goatee and kick puppies. But good gameplay choices don't always make interesting characters.

Bonus Star Wars Rant: You know, when you absolutely need an Imperial who would believably rape your OC** for the lulz, Grand Admiral Thrawn is probably not the best choice.

*T3 tops.
**At least, I'm assuming it's an OC. With the EU, it can be hard to tell.

This isn't sparked by or in reference to any book in particular, but just a general genre-specific question.

What is your stance on replacing words in fantasy that takes place in other lands/worlds? I know it's not uncommon for some authors to avoid our own terminology and replace inches, meters, miles, etc, with their own words. Same can go for time, cursing, so on...

In general, do you think this helps the feel of things over all, or is it just a pain to have to flip to the back to figure out how long a 'span' is? I mean, realistically these people are probably not speaking English (or whatever language the novel is published in) to begin with, so it would make sense to assume such things were translated as well. But at the same time, a lot of our sayings and metaphors and terminology is specific to and rooted in the history and context of our world, so it can come off as out of place to hear a dwarf saying 'See you next Thursday!' or whatever.

What do you feel really needs to be replaced, if anything? When is too much too much?

Also, I'm not as well read as I'd like to be, but I recall some authors italicizing invented words every damn time they are used. Is this some sort of unwritten rule or is it a stylistic choice?

If a teenage boy (about 15) was presented to a psychiatrist with infantile behavior like wanting to be carried, curling up and hiding, screaming at nothing, refusing to speak in appropriate situations, what would the doctor's first instinct as far as a diagnosis be?

This character's family is walking on eggshells to keep from setting him off, when he does get "set off" by trivial things he refuses to speak and shuts down into a catatonic state. He explodes with rage on himself and other people if his buttons get pushed. He is able to self-care and he's otherwise intellectually appropriate for his age. The problem has been there since childhood, but it's getting worse and he's no longer able to be in school.

Where would a doctor's instinct lead? I don't really need the name of a specific disorder, just a direction the doctor would start looking in first? Spectrum disorders? What avenues would a psychiatrist explore to try and find out the problem, especially if the teen was unwilling to speak or ignored her completely?

I've googled and wikied "pervasive developmental disorders" "mutism in teens" "selective mutism" "teen refusing to speak" "autism spectrum disorders" "horses not zebras, psychiatry" "PDD-NOS" "intermittent explosive disorder" "How do psychiatrists diagnose" "psychiatric method" and about five thousand variations on "DSM IV free online"

A month ago, I posted a fic with a cliffhanger ending. Several people were...unhappy and asked/demanded that I continue. After thinking about it for a long time, I decided to expand the original. It was originally written for a fest and I had to cut out a lot to make deadline and honor my recipients request, including the resolution of the hated cliffhanger. So, I've started posting the revised version and the silence is deafening. The same people who begged me to continue are nowhere to be found. I realize no one is owed a review but you'd think one of the people who begged for more would have responded with an "I'm so glad you're reworking this." Apparently not.

Apologies if I'm coming off as entitled. I'm just so frustrated.

ETA to correct the timeframe.

Dean Winchester was born on January 24th, 1979. He was not born in April 1978. The fic is great, but the timeline fail threw me out of it a little bit. And to other authors, Dean was not born in any other month after January in 1979. January 24th, 1979 is his established canon birthday, just like May 2nd, 1983 is Sam's.

People still mess up Sam's birthday somehow, too. I don't get it.

Look, ficwriters.

I know Merlin is an anachronistic show, with historical realism downplayed like woah.
But, could you, I don't know, be a little more considerate? And stop with OKs and occasional mentioning of potato?
It's jarring.

Dear yaoi author,

You have soiled my keyboard, for I was drinking when I read your fic, and this line:

the hot mouth that was currently suckling at his left nipple as though a babe were trying to nurse made me spew my drink all over.

( why oh why? )

Title: Date?
Rating: G
Genre: Fluff
Pairing: Satoru/You
Band: Cains:Feel
Warnings: None
Summary: You tries to ask Satoru out.
Notes: Dec 2009 Advent - Day 16
Word Count: 206


( Day 16 - Date? )

Normally, I would not advocate the burning of any book.

But I think someone has the right idea...

I read the rules and I have a question about posting a fan fiction. It says no Shota....so that means no pairings with Hitsugaya, right? Because, he IS sort of shota.... In my story hitsugaya is 13, which is not technically pre pubescent...but I don’t want to even come close to breaking a rules. Could someone please let me know if it would be okay to post my fan fiction here?

1.) If "no shota plz" meant no Hitsugaya, there would be no Hitsugaya fic in the comm. (There is.)
2.) Hitsugaya is hardly, chronologically, Shota Cat or Pedo Bear bait. Physically? He's probably hit puberty. And I'm also pretty damn sure that 13 IS Shota Cat bait, though Pedo Bear really prefers the under 12 crowd.
3.) A quick Google search will give you the Wikipedia article on Shota, which would probably help you out. (For the record, I provided this link.)
4.) ASK A MOD, DAMNIT.

Title: Insomnia
Author: shyone
Genre: humor
Pairing: Gackt/You
Rating: pg
Summary: Gackt can't sleep

( day 16 )

When calculating characters' ages, it's a good idea to make sure your math is right. I get that one particular author was trying to say a man married a much younger woman who wasn't much older than his first child. However, if said child is eight and the stepmother is only six years older, the stepmother would be 14. I don't know if this is what the author intended, but given the setting of the fic (modern-day Europe), that's probably not even legal.

tears gathered at the ends of tightly closed eyes, which covered the normally expressive silver eyes


Eyes don't cover eyes. Eyelids do.